follow the fat girl.

Hide and Seek.

Hey! Sorry it’s been a week or so since my last post, but I’ve actually been without the internet at home until just a day or so ago. See, we use Verizon’s Broadband USB modem to connect, because we live in the middle of nowhere and Comcast won’t bring it to us and Highland, which is offered in some other rural parts further in our county doesn’t come down this far. Don’t get me wrong, I love the service. There is a Verizon tower right behind my house. If you stand on my brother’s back porch and throw a rock, you could hit it. Having high-speed in the boondocks is a blessing. I don’t know how I survived dial-up all those years.

Anyway. The only bad part about it is there is a restriction on data usage. We get five gigabytes a month. For most people, that would be more than enough. However, my niece and nephew, who are here in the evenings until their dad gets home, love to play on it. They are all about some flash games, videos, and recently, “Brooke” learned how to download music. Needless to say, the gigs racked up quick. So we almost went over. I got the modem and put it up to keep them from using it for the two days until our billing cycle rolled over. I hid it so well in fact that I couldn’t find it. After searching for four days. On my hands, knees, and stomach. Under beds. In drawers. Every nook and cranny. I even checked the refrigerator. I went and turned it in on insurance as lost. The next day, while cleaning my car, I found it in the depths of my floorboard. (If you could see my car, you would understand the gravity of that statement.) Sigh.

Cleanliness is next to…

As I’ve stated in the past, I’m all or nothing. Ask anyone who knows me, including frequent readers of my blog. I got sick of my car being nasty one day. So I spent three entire days cleaning it. With a toothbrush. If I cleaned like that all the time, Calista Flockhart would look like a whale next to me. I’ve never sweated so much in my life. OK, maybe I have. Regardless, I worked my tail off. It looks great, if I do say so myself. I’ve been getting more and more energy, and the more I do things like that, like what most “normal” people do, I feel even better, both physically and emotionally.

ZUMBA!

Yes, I finally tried it. And I LOVE IT! It was amazing. I thought I couldn’t keep up, but when something seemed too hard for now, I just did what I could. Granted, I’m sure I looked like Mumble, the dancing penguin, which is OK with me. I’m comfortable enough with my inner childhood and identity as a woman to admit I love that movie (and I love penguins too), and besides all that, I was doing something good for myself. So I may look like a penguin now, but down the road, I’ll be looking like Shakira.

Liquid Kelp

I know what you’re thinking… She’s lost her mind, but hear me out. My mother should have been a doctor. She may as well be one now. She’s the most brilliant woman I know, and she really reads and studies about health, vitamins, minerals, and all that stuff. She’s in her 60’s and is better health than some twenty-somethings I know. Anyway, she’s studied about thyroid for years since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. There is something called Liquid Kelp that has iodine in it, something that is essential in your diet, and the only place you can find it in is salt. Surprisingly enough, salt is one thing I’ve never really  eaten. Occasionally, I may sprinkle a dash on my food, but altogether speaking, I just don’t eat it. She got me some a few years ago, and I took it for a week or two and just quit. I don’t really know why. Pure laziness, I guess. Then she got a newsletter from Dr. David Williams with this big report about what lack of iodine and an underactive thyroid can mean for your health AND the health of your unborn children. I’m by NO means having a baby now, but in a few years, it’s in the picture. Then I realized it wasn’t just my health we were talking.

So I started back on it about a week ago and I can tell such a difference already. For the last month or so, I’ve been having some sleep issues. It would take me forever to fall asleep and then I felt like I just couldn’t sleep enough. My sleep cycles are leveling out AND I’ve lost 12 lbs! I’m still on my medicine for my thyroid, but I’m hoping to get it regulated because who really wants to take medicine when they don’t have to. As always, always talk to your doctor first before starting anything, and I’m not saying don’t stop taking your medicine and take it. I’m just saying it’s doing something for me.

Wow… Long winded. Sorry. :) God bless.

I realize that if I blogged more often, by the time I sat down to write a post, my head wouldn’t be clouded with half a million things I feel I should say or catch you up to speed on. If I did a brain dump and just wrote, it would be impossible to pick through and any credibility I have as a halfway decent writer would be chucked out the window. That’s why bullets are a girl’s best friend. :)

• Zumba. So… as ashamed as I am to say it, I haven’t actually tried the DVD yet. I’ve WATCHED the beginner’s DVD, that shows you the basic steps and breaks it down by “zones”. Basically, it shows you individually what to do with your feet, your hips, and your shoulders and arms. I’ve always felt like there is a dancer inside, banging on the walls, trying to get out. I just need to quit being lazy and afraid that I won’t do something right and just do it. I’m sure I’ll love it. I promise I’ll do it first thing tomorrow.

• Writing. I have several projects going right now. Number one, I just got a new domain and I’m working on a website that will be a resource for writers in all genres, with articles on techniques, publishing, exercises, overcoming writer’s block, and so on. It’s still under construction, but as soon as I get the first article written and posted, I’ll share the link. Right now, it just looks like a  hot mess. Number two, I’m working on a new book and also having been working with my agent on the first book. Hopefully, Lord willing, within the next year, my debut novel will be on bookshelves across America, and eventually, the world. Whoa, dream big. :)

• Weight loss (or lack thereof). I haven’t gained or lost any weight this month. It’s not a plateau. It’s laziness. I could beat myself, berate the choices I’ve made, the choices I didn’t make, or I could put my big girl underoos on and move forward. I’m regrouping after I finish this post, relisting my goals and inspirations, and moving forward. I will randomly have these adrenaline rushes or mind rushes and be no-holds-barred. But I’ve learned that the times I’ve done the best is sitting down, picking through my brain, and resolving what I will do. Instead of my motivation fizzling when the rush is over, I’m more grounded. I’ll post my revised game plan tomorrow.

That’s only a small portion of my mind right now, but they are pretty significant in the scheme of things. Thank you for the continued support, prayers, and well wishes. See you tomorrow. Same place, same time. God bless.

Today was my fourth day back at the old workplace, and it did a lot for my ego. Nearly everyone I said, “You lost a lot of weight since you left here.” It was really nice, because even though I’ve slowed down lately, partly because I need to step it up to prevent plateauing and partly because I’ve been eating things that are convenient instead of good for me. Still, it was nice to be able to remind me of how far I’ve come and that I can keep going. Sometimes I get discouraged, and sometimes it seems like my ultimate goal is so far away. But as with life, you can only take it a day at a time, and in this case, a pound at a time.

The last time I lost a lot and I started slowing down, and I’d “only lose a pound”, my mother would take me to the freezer and dig out a pound of sausage and ask me where I wanted her to tape it. She always had a way of helping me visualizing it to not undermine my own efforts and accomplishments. So I thought I would share a few of the ones I use when I lose my focus.

½ pound = stick of butter

1 pound = roll of sausage, pack of hot dogs or frozen toothpaste

5 pounds = sack of flour or sugar

10 pounds = a little more than a gallon of milk

25 pounds = average toddler

50 pounds = sack of feed (ie, horse feed), large bag of dog food

I’m a kinesthetic learner. I have to see and do for myself to learn, and the more tangible and real it becomes to me. So next time you are frustrated because you “only” lost half a pound, duct tape a stick of butter to your butt. You’ll thank me for it. :) Take care.

So, I finally got my Zumba Fitness pack in the mail yesterday, and I’m pretty excited about it. I first heard of It from Lola, a fellow blogger and now a good friend, and it seemed like so much fun. Not to hate on Richard Simmons, but I was needing something new. I looked it up on YouTube and it seemed like a blast. I haven’t tried it yet, and I’m sure I’ll be on the beginners DVD for quite a while, but I’m excited to see how it works. It also came with free shake sticks, kinda like a maraca? Either way, you shake it and it make a shimmy noise. I was the kid who put macaroni in paper towel tubes just to have something to make noise. Needless to say, I’m still pretty easily amused.

I started a new job Monday. Well, an old new job. I’m back at the place where I spent years at as a manager. I didn’t realize how much I would miss being at home, just writing for money and being able to be there for my family more. I went back mainly because I desperately need insurance. I’m not making the kind of money (yet) from writing to be able to shell out $500 a month just for insurance, which is about how much it would be. That’s with my weight and to keep from having any pre-existing condition riders. I understand that the more you weigh, the more like you will get diabetes, heart disease, and the ilk. It still stinks though. Hopefully things will work out soon with the book deal and I can go ahead and get my advance. It’s not that it’s terrible, where I’m working at again. I just didn’t realize how much I took for granted not doing the 9-5 thing. Just pray that things work out. I know I will be.

So how many of you have tried Zumba? Have you had good results? God bless.

I’m sure many of you think that I must have fallen off the side of the earth. This isn’t true, thought it may seem as such. At least this time, I’ve not been blogging not because I did a giant belly flop into the pool of regression but because life has been pretty chaotic lately. In the last two months, everything in the world has been going on. My aunt Bea’s mother passed away, after spending about the last three months in and out of the hospital. While she was technically my grandmother, our families are very close, and I can’t remember a time when I, or anyone else around, haven’t called her Granny West. She introduced me to people as her granddaughter. She was 91.

My cousin, Laura, who by the way is Bea’s daughter, has been in and out of the hospital, and they still haven’t figured out what’s going on. They only know what it’s not. She’s really weak all the time, her speech has been affected, and she has bouts with extremely high fevers, among other things. They are now starting to lean toward Multiple Sclerosis, and I pray they are wrong.

My other cousin, Shelena, (yep, another one of Bea’s daughters) just had a baby a little over a week ago. Add in birthdays, anniversaries, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, random happenstances, and basic day to day life, and you get a pretty good idea of how things have been. . Days were starting early and ending late but it’s all been worth it. Lately, we’ve all been doing well to remember to brush our teeth and put pants on before we walk out the day.

While I know that blogging hasn’t seemed like a priority lately, I’ve needed to take time to be there for my family and my friends. I’m going to start making a time every day to blog, even if it’s short. I’m going to work it into my other writing time, which I’ve also been trying to make a higher priority as well. I feel like I’m very close to making it with my writing career, and a daily discipline is just what I need. And in the midst of everything lately, it’s taught me something about the importance of weight loss. Some days, we literally would be going all day long, going from here to there and back again. It’s a hike inside the hospital to get to the patient rooms, and at one point, Granny was on floor and Laura was on the other. With all the running and busyness, it’s made me so thankful that I’ve continued on my weight loss path. I have so much more energy now. I wake up in the morning and don’t feel like I need jumper cables to get me going. And imagine, I’m still over 300 lbs. I can’t imagine what it will be like as I get smaller.

So thank you everyone for understanding. As always, I appreciate the emails with concern, and I would appreciate your prayers for my family and all that’s been going on. We have a big God, and He’s the same today as He was two-thousand years ago. He’s still in the healing business. Were it not for His strength, I wouldn’t be able to do as well as I have so far. I appreciate you all and God bless. See you tomorrow.

This evening,  it’s going to be short and sweet. It’s been a really crazy weekend, but over all, it turned out great. I swam tonight at the gym and weighed this morning and in two weeks, I’ve lost 19.8 lbs, an average of 9.9 per week. Not too bad. I know that sounds like a lot, but a lot of it was water weight and where my hours are intermittent right now, I have more time to be active and exercise and not sitting on my butt. Well, I’ve got to get some writing and catch up on blog reading. Good night all and God bless.

I’m not sure how, but I think I somehow forgot how great I feel after exercising, both physically and emotionally. I still knew that I did feel awesome afterwards, but it’s hard to really remember that exact feeling; the overall sense of well-being and accomplishment, knowing you are doing something awesome for yourself. I really can’t describe it; I guess it’s just one of those things you have to experience yourself. For so long, I never really knew what it felt like, and that kinda makes me sad, but happy in a way because I appreciate it so much more now than if I never had anything to compared it with.

This morning, I got up early to go to the gym for a water aerobics class. This is saying something about my progress within the last couple of days because I’m definitely not a morning person. Several years ago, when I lost all that weight the first time, that’s the main source of exercise I was getting. That and Richard Simmons DVD. :) Say what you will about the man, but I love him and he’s dedicated his life to helping people become healthy. Plus, I love oldies and it makes exercising fun. Our class lasted an hour, and I was surprised at how much my heart rate did get up. It’s not the same as being on the elliptical, but it made me feel strong and healthy, if that makes any sense at all. Afterwards, I swam laps for 45 minutes. I don’t mean float back and forth in the water and spin in circles. I mean I actually swam laps. In the beginning it was a little tiring, but the more I did it, the looser my muscles became and it actually felt great. I put this into my tracker on the WW website and between the two, I earned 20 activity points. 20! That’s half of my daily points allowance. I know you’re supposed to eat them, but I always just save them. I figure it will put me closer to losing another pound. Needless to say, I was stoked.

I’m going in the morning for a test for a government job (be praying) then going into my other job immediately after that and working until five. So we’ll have to go a little later tomorrow, but better late than never.

We went to Hardee’s with Dan’s parents and nieces. I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich. I inspected it, removed the bacon, and gave it to Dan. For some reason, they gave me an order of fries, and I immediately handed them over, without a second thought. I didn’t even want them. They say nothing tastes than skinny feels, but I disagree with that. It’s not about being skinny, it’s about being healthy! Nothing tastes better than taking care of yourself feels. That’s what I say. I’ve been working hard, and any short-lived enjoyment from indulging couldn’t come close to the satisfaction of knowing I made a wise decision.

I’m so excited about this turnaround. I’ve been praying and praying for strength, guidance, energy, and motivation, and He has answered my prayers tenfold. I actually missed Biggest Loser last night because I was at the gym working out. I guess that’s as good a reason as any, since the basis behind the show is losing weight and getting fit. I caught up online. Our hometown girl, Ashley Johnston, is still on there. I’m hoping she made it to the finalists. She reminds me a lot of myself, and not just because we’re from the same area. She lost her dad and had a really hard time dealing with that and in turn, went to food for comfort.  She’s been a big inspiration to me, as I’m sure she has to thousands of viewers. Go Pink Team!

Daily Recap
Points Allowance: 41
Points Consumed: 28.5
Activity Pts. Earned: 20
NSV of the Day: Realizing taking care of myself is more important than a pile of French fries or two more hours of sleep.

Day Two of Operation Lose-My-Ass-Before-I-Lose-My-Mind is now under my belt, and I have to say, things are going really well. Cindy and I went back to the gym this evening and worked out for two hours again, though I swam for an hour and a half of it. I did the elliptical for twenty minutes. I think once the soreness in my legs goes away, I’ll be able to do more like I was doing before… thirty to forty-five minutes. I was SO sore last night I had a hard time sleeping. I finally got up, went downstairs, took a Stanback and fell asleep in the La-Z-Boy. I woke up about an hour later, and that horrible achiness was gone.

I’ve done really well with my points too, even though I should honestly be eating more than I am. Part of Weight Watchers is eating your points to fuel your body, especially if you’re exercising on a consistent basis. It seems that exercise really decreases my appetite, plus after busting my butt and laying awake for hours after working out, I don’t even look twice at a piece of cheese and have no desire to eat peanut butter with an ice cream scoop. I think, you know, I worked really hard, and if I overindulged, I’d have to chain myself to the elliptical to burn it back off.

So here’s the daily wrap-up:

Points eaten: 32
Activity points earned: 13
Stretching: 10 minutes
Elliptical: 20 minutes
Swimming: 1 ½ hours
NSV of the Day: The swelling in my legs and ankles is already gone!
Overall mood: pumped