January
i changed my mind.
I was thinking about something this evening. It’s amazing how we as a society take a phrase and use it so lightly; expressions that at one time surely meant something far more than how we use them today. Take for instance, “I’m starving to death”, “I could eat a horse”, and so on. We are over exaggerate things to the point that they become nothing more than words.
This occurred to me this evening when I came in from town. To be totally honest, I was gloating to myself. :) I was thinking about how well I had done this week, not having cheated once, and continuing to make the better food choice. Basically, I was just really proud of myself. Then I noticed Oreos on the table, as well as the remaining burgers from this evening’s supper at my mom’s house, which made for a happy moment, as I gloated again about how I had made another meal plan for myself instead of divulging in the Thickburgers. But then I started thinking about the old me. How the old me would have came in and put not a moment of thought into diving into everything I could get my hands. I thought about the choice of getting something or not. And I chose not to, and the surprising thing is, I also sincerely wanted to say no. I didn’t want to give up not only my “good run”, but I also didn’t want to be giving up some of my pride. It was like that desire to eat mindlessly was gone completely. I finally got a glimpse in my mind as to what it would be like to live not being controlled by the food. I realized how crazy it seemed that I would let an inanimate object make my decisions. I imagined a scoreboard, with FOOD 0 CHRISTY 1.
I realized I had changed my mind, and not just in the “I don’t think I’ll watch CSI tonight” kind of way. I mean I had truly made my mind change about the way I was viewing food. It was like seeing it through someone else’s eyes. This may seem so silly to you, but it was a HUGE revelation to me. It was like I was taking another step onto the next stone of my weight loss journey.
So I’m a little more prepared now, and the next time I go out to eat, I’ll know how to handle it better when someone asks if I want to split a Triple Chocolate Meltdown. I’ll smile and say, “No thanks, I changed my mind.”